i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
