Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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