There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She's JV to your varsity
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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