Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize