I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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