If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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