By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
