hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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