i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
