Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
