No, you can still breathe under the balls.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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