i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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