That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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