Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
