$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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