she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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