So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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