So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
