i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize