3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
