can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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