It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
