we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize