she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
