i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
