What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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