Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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