Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
