just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize