can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
