Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
