PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
