he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
