ya dads aren't the best wingmen
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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