Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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