So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
