I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
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I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
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I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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