If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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