Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
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Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
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Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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