k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
