i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
