I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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