It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
