i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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