Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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