i barfeds in our rink
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
