Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
