Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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