When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Holy shit dude........stairs
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