Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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