I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
