Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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