If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
