So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
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did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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