hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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