That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
