Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
