I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
