cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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