I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
