the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
